Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week

No one knows how to spell beef borbingbong. But I am cooking it. Delicious beef boingyboinggon.

— Maf (@Mafer1ck) November 3, 2026

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 45 times a day, create deliverables for key stakeholders, and boil the ocean

— . (@Omgemeraldddd) November 3, 2026

My dreams of being a poet vanished like a thing in a whatever.

— Alice Mills (@millsalice144) November 3, 2026

We've been hearing multiple reports that there is a 'd' in 'handkerchief.'

We're monitoring the situation.

— Merriam-Webster (@MerriamWebster) November 3, 2026

I'd rather lick every button in a hospital elevator than share a "fun fact" about myself in a team meeting.

— Manda (@mandaconda__) November 3, 2026

I just put a cardboard box in the recycling bin without flattening it first, so yes, I am currently living entirely outside the law.

— Alan Felyk (@AlanFelyk) November 4, 2026

Turns out he will drink water, after all, but only when served in a champagne glass pic.twitter.com/Cmeb19guF0

— Richard Bratby (@RichardBratby) November 2, 2026

Guy behind me at the traffic lights, beeping your horn and giving me the wanker sign isn’t going to make me type this tweet any faster.

— Tashy McTashface (@TashP351) November 4, 2026

Weird name pic.twitter.com/jELEi54tT5

— Sick of it….🇬🇧 (@MediaSOI) November 4, 2026

Not again https://t.co/pTdgtG9I3T

— Al Murray 🇺🇦 (@almurray) November 4, 2026

Can the hackers defrost my fridge freezer for me please? Can’t be arsed doing it myself.

— Florence Lox 🇬🇧🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 (@floboflo) November 4, 2026

"Unexpected item in bagging area!", shrieks the Morrisons till. IT WAS A BAG THAT YOU'D LITERALLY JUST INSTRUCTED ME TO PLACE THERE HOW IN THE NAME OF GOD'S GREEN EARTH CAN THAT BE UNEXPECTED YOU TRANSISTORISED BOLLOCK

— Fuck off (@Get_effed) November 4, 2026

The strongest people are not in the gym.
They are explaining the same thing for the 5th time on Teams.

— Employee Tears (@EmployeeTears) November 4, 2026