This tale of a London to Edinburgh train journey gone epically wrong was the most jaw-dropping thread of the year
17.
At 12:05 am our cabbie decided to change lanes without indicating and almost crashed into a mini-van overtaking him.
So now the two of us passengers that are oldest are awake, and we have checked that the cabbie is too.
He has not responded, but he has used the indicator.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
18.
At 12:37 we crossed over into Scotland, which is my first time changing countries in a cab.
After a couple of “incidents”, our cabbie has pulled into a services to get a coffee.
I have released my grip on the side handle. The other older passenger has gone to the toilet.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
19.
To be fair to our cab driver, it is late, it’s a dark highway, and he’s driving a city black cab not meant for this road.
It’s not an easy drive and he’s doing a decent job.
Here’s our chariot with the moon pic.twitter.com/RQEI4jGdtX
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
20.
So the coffee machine was broken.
The cabbie has brought 2 red bulls to be safe.
The other older guy has got an ice cream.
In the grand kiwi tradition, i’ve bought a bag of jube-like lollies for the cab.
We’ve all shopped together so it’s not a “thing”.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 25, 2023
21.
No one else in the cab is keen for 1am lollies, and that sort of makes sense.
This email we have all received is the current talking point. pic.twitter.com/DiLLH97TkG
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
22.
Things were running smoothly there for a while, but there was some confusion at the turnoff to Edinburgh and we’ve come off the M74 and then accidentally gone back on it, still heading North.
We’ve got another chance coming up soon. Otherwise it’s off to Glasgow.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
23.
He’s at the junction, and… he’s nailed it!
We’re on the A70, and about an hour out from Edinburgh.
Should be there around 3am, which is about twice the time the original train journey was supposed to take
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
24.
The A70 is less of a UK highway, and more a NZ highway in that it’s narrow, dark, full of turns and occasionally just dips.
A real motion-sickness nightmare of a road.
It also has, I kid you not, a random traffic light in the middle of nowhere. pic.twitter.com/nAKJnbw6Qy
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
25.
very strong 2am Lost Highway vibes… pic.twitter.com/GwbWiXvVyx
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
26.
I have to apologise to the A70.
It turns out we took another wrong turn and ended up on the A72.
We’ve now corrected onto the A73.
Thanks to the guy who messaged “I don’t know where you are but that’s not the A70”
A terrifying if educational message.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
27.
Every single one of us now has google maps open.
The “closed road” sign has really deflated the cab.
It’s hard to even remember the train now.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
28.
Some of you have pointed out – and I think it’s worth having in the thread – that perhaps.. just possibly..
Throwing money at cab drivers and getting them to drive several hours in the middle of the night…
Might not be the best contingency plan for Train companies to have
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
29.
We’re inside the ring road. So very very close.
Sort of relieved quiet giggles amongst us.
Or it’s a shared mania taking over.
Then he turns right out of nowhere and suddenly we’re in Edinburghs backstreets.
The driver’s GPS has taken him of course again!
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
30.
I’ve intervened.
He’s switched off the GPS .
I didn’t yell.
I may have said “I think your GPS may be evil and doesn’t want any of us to see our families again”.
He’s trusted the four of us. It’s his first time in Edinburgh.
We’re almost there.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
31.
For those concerned, the cabbie is driving back to Preston tonight.
Says he’s fine, and hey maybe he is.
But it’s pretty twisted that he doesn’t get taken care of by either his company or the train company hiring him.
Made sure he knew the quick way out of town via a servo.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
32.
The other old guy lives within walking distance of where we stopped, one of the young guys also lives close by.
The other young guy is form Chile (surprise fact at the end) and so called an uber straight away.
— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 26, 2023
Phew.
And here are just a few of the many, many things people were saying about it.
The insane bonkers ludicrous train thread EVERYONE will be reading today.
The total shambles of getting anywhere in this country https://t.co/Ti9svMI6DP
— Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont) September 26, 2023
“We are committed to delivering HS2 and that is why we will be hiring a fleet of black cabs to travel nightly to Edinburgh via Preston” https://t.co/2SXdfa0hjq pic.twitter.com/a5L0GoVkAl
— christhebarker (@christhebarker) September 26, 2023
Why spend money on a new rail line when you can spend it on two hundred midnight taxis from
Preston to Edinburgh?Absolute scenes here. https://t.co/MJB2jJAMCh
— Tom Peck (@tompeck) September 26, 2023
Keir Starmer should just read out this thread instead of his conference speech https://t.co/pIGN4VI59o
— Dino Sofos (@dinosofos) September 26, 2023
Yesterday my train to Glasgow terminated at Preston. Quite quickly it was decided I’d cab it to Carlisle and stay there. I stayed in the most murdery hotel ever (bonus 2am fire alarm) and was feeling quite sorry for myself… until I read this thread https://t.co/OVelYaqFf5
— Nadia Shireen (@NadiaShireen) September 26, 2023
Bloody hell, this thread is like The Odyssey https://t.co/hwIyDwLiFO
— Greg Jenner (@greg_jenner) September 26, 2023
I would say this thread is “extraordinary” but, having experienced similar on more than one occasion, it’s sadly par for the course: https://t.co/2Fd31LsGZQ
— Mic Wright (@brokenbottleboy) September 26, 2023
Man lives the full majesty of ‘travelling north’ experience. contains Preston. https://t.co/TUioOzb5vp
— Grace Dent (@gracedent) September 26, 2023
This thread is simultaneously jaw-dropping and also entirely believable https://t.co/aU3C84LCQZ
— Pete Redfern (@fatpete_86) September 26, 2023
In three words …
This is amazing. https://t.co/J5PVozcQkq
— James O’Brien (@mrjamesob) September 26, 2023
Only one question remained
WAKE UP! We need to know what happened next?
— Veronica Pullen (@VeronicaPullen) September 26, 2023
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— James Nokise (@JamesNokise) September 17, 2023
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