
Life friends friendship relationships
People are celebrating “super-connector” friends who keep groups together by organising dinners and nights out
It’s increasingly hard to keep friendships alive in our modern world. Everyone is so busy, with so many demands on their time (not to mention a cost of living crisis and general enslavement to technology).
So, let’s give a big shout out to those who always take the initiative to organise dinner for friends or get the ball rolling on a night out.
It’s something that’s gone viral on Twitter/X recently, starting with this tweet from @ichthys30:
You know something weird ? The number of people reporting going to dinner parties at least once per week has fallen 90% since 1950. Actually it fell 90% by the 1990s. Just weird, since there’s no law against dinner parties. You can just ask your friends to come over for dinner.
— Sulla (@ichthys30) January 19, 2025
Writer Ben Ryan then took it further by saying:
I have people over to dinner about 15 to 20 times per year. I am invited over to dinner zero to one time per year. People often behave as if a social invitation is an onerous burden. They are in a long-term relationship with themselves. https://t.co/mb3rDgj0hJ
— Benjamin Ryan (@benryanwriter) January 19, 2025
To which @ichthys30 replied:
It’s probably understated how much social life is kept together by like 1 or 2 people per group who are the first movers who plan everything and ask people to go out, without which they keystone would be gone and no one would get together https://t.co/bEzMIZH5aD
— Sulla (@ichthys30) January 19, 2025
All of these tweets went super-viral, suggesting they’ve struck a chord with people about the effort it takes to sustain friendships these days.
1.
Gladwell talks about this in Tipping Point, I’m not sure if he coined the term ‘superconnectors’ but he certainly popularised it
— Joel Snape (@JoelSnape) January 20, 2025
2.
I am dinner planner guy and when I don’t plan the dinner there is no dinner. I can be sulky or I can drag men to a steak and then we all enjoy the steak, but it won’t happen at all without me. It annoys me but maybe it shouldn’t. We all have our roles.
— Yossarian’s Locker (@YossarianLocker) January 19, 2025
3.
i’ve seen this mentioned before, lowering the bar of expectations for “dinner party” from home cooked to just getting takeout together at someone’s place and i think that’s valid in this day and age if it gets people together
— technology sista (aspiring) (@typeclonghouse) January 19, 2025
4.
One thing people under appreciate is that if you want to maintain friendships you often have to make sizable unreciprocated efforts in certain phases of life and if you can’t just push past the self consciousness of that you’re really reliant on someone else in the group being…
— Loquitur Ponte Sublicio (@loquitur_ponte) January 19, 2025
5.
We moved to a new town about 1 year ago and took Polaroids of every new family or friend we invited over. Pretty much everyone on the board has been to our house multiple times, but it gives a sense of how broad your social life can be if you choose to invest in it!
We are… pic.twitter.com/Pw7DkhpnM8
— Ethan Copple (@EthanCopple) January 20, 2025
6.
This reminds me of a James Baldwin quote, and I’m paraphrasing, but basically that the entire world is held together by a group of people who love very deeply
— No Cop City (@MarxistTwink) January 20, 2025
7.
I am the party planner in my group. I host the majority of the parties. But my friends are lovely and appreciative so it doesn’t rub me the wrong way, but I do sometimes wonder how things would be if I wasn’t around.
— Dr Dabdo (@DabdoDr90880) January 20, 2025
8.
Have explained this to many people that it’s good to be the friend who plans all the events. Shows that you’re the glue guy. Sadly people get tired of being the only or main one inviting people over because they’re afraid to seem desperate for friendship
— southcap (@southeastcap24) January 20, 2025
9.
I find it fun to plan a nice dinner, but it does get annoying inviting people, putting in the work, and them not being reliable in showing up.
— Polly (@PolyangiitisG6) January 20, 2025
10.
This is also a problem! Homes/apartments being built with no dining room/space for a communal dining table.https://t.co/FWzdP5N6pW
— Kathleen “just a Nurse” RN (@KathBRN) January 20, 2025