Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
My landlord found out I have a cat and he's furious. Mostly because it's his cat.
— Martin Pilgrim (@MartinPilgrim1) February 14, 2026
14.
just throw the whole box on top of everything in your fridge like an adult https://t.co/4QNS74CLqV
— chris p (@wggchrisp) February 18, 2026
15.
sf is an extremely walkable city and i will die on this hill
— “paula” (@paularambles) February 16, 2026
16.
Computer: We updated your computer.
Me: Okay.
Computer: Restart now or later?
Me: Later.
Computer: How about now? Restart now or later?
Me: Omg later.
Computer: Technically now is later than before.
Me: LATER
Computer: You know what I’m just gonna restart it now.— The Real Rodney Lacroix (@RealRodLacroix) February 18, 2026
17.
All I’m saying is it’s statistically impossible that every murder victim lit up a room.
— Lori – Breaker of Curfews (@lori_socal) February 17, 2026
18.
Bobsled is short for Robertsled.
— G (@stevensongs) February 17, 2026
19.
Just in Blackpool, saw a guy & woman shouting then fighting. A copper turned up but instead of calming things down he starts twatting the guy with a baton! The guy gets the baton and starts hitting the copper AND his wife! Then this crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages.
— Darth Craven (@CrazyCraven01) February 17, 2026
20.
Ageism is everywhere. Do you know how many 70 year olds play in the Premiere League? NONE!
— Arthur Smith (@ArfurSmith) February 16, 2026
21.
Imagine every slice of bread from all the sandwiches in the fridge at your local supermarket stacked on top on one another. Now imagine every sandwich fridge in the country. Now get back to work and stop thinking about sandwiches.
— cluedont (@cluedont) February 17, 2026
22.
[farmers market]
Guy about to invent popcorn: Do you have any vegetables that fucking explode
— Ron Iver (@ronnui_) February 17, 2026
23.
it is seriously impressive that a penguin wrote all of this pic.twitter.com/kNLB7UoaOC
— chels (@mournfulamb) February 16, 2026
24.
if you haven't seen it yet, i recommend sticking around though the credits of "WUTHERING HEIGHTS." there's a teaser where Nick Fury approaches Cathy at a West Yorkshire pub and recruits her into the Cloudbusting initiative, setting the table for the Kate Bush Cinematic Universe.
— john (@johnsemley3000) February 16, 2026
25.
BREAKING: A thesaurus belonging to Elton John has been stolen. The singer commented, "It's sad. So sad. It's a sad, sad situation."
— Pundamentalism (@Pundamentalism) February 15, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
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