Twitter funny tweets of the week
Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
The Greeks leaving behind a giant wooden horse on the beach at Troy: pic.twitter.com/Nw0C236g9U
— Classical Studies Memes (@CSMFHT) September 10, 2026
14.
Apparently people are folding their grocery bags into tiny perfect triangles now. I thought we all agreed the proper storage method was to nominate the strongest grocery bag and stuff 63 other bags inside it, like our mothers and grandmothers before us.
— Nuelxx (@nuel_szy) September 10, 2026
15.
[football coach pulls me from the huddle] are you tickling people?
— Cat Damon (@CornOnTheGoblin) September 9, 2026
16.
They say every piece of chocolate you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes… I've done the maths, seems i died in 1879! 😂
— David (@latte147) September 10, 2026
17.
No one wants to take medicine more than the healthy sibling of a sick kid.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) September 4, 2026
18.
Something I learned from my daughter this summer is that baking can actually be really fun if you have no intention of cleaning up after you’re done.
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) September 7, 2026
19.
Poor fella. I’m sure he’s just sleepy. pic.twitter.com/XCQbvQgKAV
— Cretaceous Dave (@Cretaceous_Dave) September 7, 2026
20.
There is nothing on God’s green earth slower than a dog who’s been let into the garden for a piss in torrential rain. Biblical downpour, sideways rain, I’m getting fucking waterboarded at the back door and he’s conducting a leisurely botanical survey of the grass.
— Joe (@andjustliketwat) September 8, 2026
21.
I want to open a coffee shop and call it “F*ck Mornings” and all the drinks can have cute names, like-
"It's too early for this Sh!t!"
"My Boss is an asshole"
"My In-Laws are in Town'
And they all come with a shot of tequila in them.
— Old Salty Marine (@BamaSaltyMarine) September 8, 2026
22.
I just got hospitalised for being cringe. They put me in the awk ward
— Roony (@Roonysters) September 8, 2026
23.
[First day as pizza delivery driver]
Me: Sorry I ate your pizza.
— your other mom (@difficultpatty) September 9, 2026
24.
happy fourth anniversary of the time I walked into a bakery to purchase the most decadent cake they had for my 30th birthday and accidentally gave the impression that I was holding an impromptu celebration of the death of Queen Elizabeth II
— Janel Comeau (@VeryBadLlama) September 8, 2026
25.
Before AI kills us, can we at least have a few years with the sex bots who do laundry?
— Alice (@AliceFromQueens) September 9, 2026