Celebrity p.46

Kate Winslet’s very NSFW Comic Relief bedtime story might be highly relatable to parents

Adrian Chiles passes the Guardian column vibe check – but why are they always so random? 15 of the best

James Buckley did an insanely hot chilli challenge on his podcast – and it went exactly as you’d expect

James Blunt had the best response to the anniversary of You’re Beautiful

James Acaster told a hilarious tale of a very persistent heckler and everyone said the same thing

Brace yourselves – somebody has unearthed Jamie Oliver’s reggae song about curry and it’s spicy stuff

Paul McCartney posted a short video with a very unexpected ending and people loved it

Telegraph columnist Celia Walden slammed the ‘shameful speculation’ about Kate Middleton and the internet replied as one

Correction and clarification of the week

Dublin Airport threw epic shade at Kate Middleton’s unexpected fondness for photoshop and it really took off

And the Oscar for best live burn of Donald Trump goes to Jimmy Kimmel

Helen Flanagan’s Weakest Link answer was so bad it was unbrielievable

Sydney Sweeney has got conservatives coming over all peculiar – only 13 responses you need

Sorry, ladies – Rupert Murdoch’s off the market again, and we’re not even invited to the wedding

Blur’s drummer will stand for Labour in Mid Sussex and these 12 jokes are so great