News p.2

Captain Tom’s daughter lost her spa appeal and the Metro’s hilariously brutal take just won headline of the year

Break out the tiny violins – Captain Tom’s daughter has lost her appeal to save her private spa

Joe Lycett’s response to Suella Braverman and her ‘living on the streets is a lifestyle choice’ claim just got better and better

Esther McVey made an unfortunate schoolboy error condemning Just Stop Oil and it’s a proper work of art

Britain’s ‘strictest headmistress’ has written a letter of complaint about Marks and Spencer’s Christmas ad and it’s quite the read

Krishnan Guru-Murthy’s devastating intro on the government’s response to Covid is an essential 48-second watch

The Covid inquiry was told it was the ‘wrong crisis for Boris Johnson’s skillset’ and these 13 responses surely say it all

Piers Morgan debated gun control with his American ‘friends’ on US TV and had everyone cheering

Theresa Coffey blamed the wrong sort of rain for the Storm Babet chaos – 17 hurricane force comebacks

Robert Jenrick said you could trust the Conservatives with the economy and Victoria Derbyshire’s comeback was 10/10

The only thing funnier than the Tories’ by-election calamity was GB News’s watery-eyed response

Tory chair Greg Hands said the Conservatives will win the general election and Naga Munchetty’s eyebrows spoke for the nation

Tory loser Andrew Cooper flounced out of his by-election defeat and this is the only response you need

This video of Tory candidate Andrew Cooper was already good, but his crushing by-election defeat made it brilliant

Richard Madeley just asked his dumbest and most offensive question yet