People shared the dumbest things they heard a fellow human being utter – 15 proper jaw-droppers
There are a lot of dumb people out there. (Not you, of course.) But it’s not always apparent just how much stupidity surrounds us in the real world.
On the internet, though?
Recently, Redditor u/REGGIE_BANANAS wanted to know what kind of knuckleheads are out there when they asked:
‘What’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard someone say?’
Don’t read too closely, some of this idiocy might rub off.
1.
“I knew a guy who thought ALL MUSHROOMS were hallucinogenic and illegal.”
“He was shocked to see us eating mushrooms on pizza at work. We offered him a slice and and he was like ‘Oh nooo. I’m just surprised. You all are being pretty obvious! However you guys want to get your kicks I guess.'”
“But then he told our boss we were doing drugs at lunch, and our boss was thoroughly confused because: pizza?? The guy could not be convinced that fuckin Dominos and Pizza Hut offered mushrooms on their pizza and that most mushrooms are not hallucinogenic. This was about the same time that smartphones came out so I don’t think it occurred to anyone to show him. We were done with him anyway. I think he was very sheltered.”
OvulatingWildly
2.
“The best was a conversation with an American visiting Canada. Why do your traffic lights emit a sound when they turn green? It’s so blind people know when to go. ‘OMG that’s amazing. You let blind people drive in Canada.’ So, yeah…”
2SWillow
3.
“I’m an ER doc; I had a guy decline antibiotics (after I sewed up a large, dirty laceration) and say ‘I take oil of oregano every day.’ Saw him again two days later.”
lrrssssss
4.
“A friend of mine went to America to work for a few weeks. On his first day he was asked where he was from and he responded, ‘Scotland.’ That was followed up with, ‘Do you have a moon in Scotland?’ He told me that was when he knew it was gonna be a long few weeks.”
Heartbeatone
5.
“My high school girlfriend asked our group if humans are made of chicken or beef. I choose to believe she was trying to ask if we are white or red meat.”
Heartbeatone
6.
“Me to my mother: ‘Okay one more time, just because the old food pyramid put eggs and milk in the same category, that doesn’t mean eggs have dairy in them.’”
GoblinGurly
7.
“An adult woman in a museum about ocean history telling her child that narwhals are mythical creatures. Was annoyed when I corrected her.”
Strong-Protection769
8.
“I was in the northern section of the SF Bay Area watching the Russian River enter the Pacific Ocean.
“I had been invited to a bachelor party of a friend from work. All of his childhood friends were there and I knew nobody. So all of us sitting there drinking beer and watching the ocean. A bunch of seagulls, pelicans, and sea lions were super active right where the river met the sea.
“One of the guys in the group asked ‘What are they doing?’ and I answered that it looked like they were feeding on a bunch of of fish (birds were diving in and coming up with fish). The guy says, ‘Whoa, that’s crazy. Who put them there?’ I paused for a second and asked ‘How did the fish get there?’
“Then had this exchange:
“Him: ‘Yeah, who put them there?’ Me: ‘The fish?’ Him: ‘Yeah, where do they come from?’ Me: ‘Where do fish come from?’ Him: ‘Yeah.’ And then we sat in silence.
“I take it back. That’s the second dumbest thing. On 9/11 (in high school) a girl in my class asked, ‘Why don’t we just assassinate Buddha?'”
johnsilver4545
9.
“The person got a nose job so her kids wouldn’t get the nose she was born with.”
Jdemonique
10.
“Had a worker once tell me his next door neighbour had twins. One aged three and the other was five years old.”
Cricket730
11.
“My friend tried to convince me that there are certain clouds, rain clouds, that just circle the globe, always raining. That’s how meteorologists knew when it was going to rain. The rain clouds were on their way and they constantly always rain. They never run out. He said I was an idiot for not understanding such a simple concept.”
drummerandrew
12.
“So I decided to keep my maiden name when I got married. One of my aunts asked why I would do such a thing to our children because how would they know I’m their mother. I told her I wasn’t planning on having stupid children.”
Alternative_Big545
13.
“‘Reading a book about history is really stupid when you’re not in school anymore.’ Coworker was trying to insult me.”
MrsRalphieWiggum
14.
“At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but turn the viewpoint around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo….God, I have so many stories from that job.”
hostbyt
15.
“I went to a US high school with a lot of international students. One girl asked an international student if they had periods in Germany. Menstrual periods.”
ButNotTheFunKind
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Source: Reddit, AskReddit via u/REGGIE_BANANAS