Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
13.
me: it’s just ur names are very similar
mailman: no I get that, super different jobs though. I don’t think I can help
me: alright, sorry to bug u then
mailman: hey no worries, good luck with skeletor!
— Andrew Nadeau (@TheAndrewNadeau) March 23, 2026
14.
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough cows stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” pic.twitter.com/Zft4cpjqW7
— Thinkwert (@Thinkwert) March 26, 2026
15.
How can it be legally described as an ‘oven ready meal’ if it takes 20 minutes to get the film off?
— rab livingstone (@rablivingstone) March 23, 2026
16.
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Prices are down under President Trump! pic.twitter.com/fM1KWNONye
— Gary Peterson 🇺🇸 (@GaryPetersonUSA) March 25, 2026
17.
drummer: what if i just grazed this paint brush across the top of my drum?
jazz musician: holey fucken shit.— Sunshine Jarboly (@SunshineJarboly) March 26, 2026
18.
I'm a plant parent. Mostly a plant hospice worker, if we're being honest
— ⊹٭٭⊹ (@metickleu) March 26, 2026
19.
Taking care of an old person is hard work. Sometimes I don't know if it's worth it. Especially since that old person is just me.
— Robert Bonnett (@RoBonnett79) March 25, 2026
20.
Every night human beings go to sleep, lose all sense of their known reality, plunge into an abstract hyper-dimensional realm of infinite experience where time collapses, all moments instantly manifest, and then they wake up and just go about their day.
— Jay Anderson (@TheProjectUnity) March 24, 2026
21.
I always wanted to know what it would be like to be a billionaire so I ran the dishwasher half full
— Brad the Mailman (@Bradthemailman) March 25, 2026
22.
Not many people know this but I actually studied Dad Jokes in college.
I majored in sighchology
— PUNS (@ThePunnyWorld) March 25, 2026
23.
Well, I'm not sponsoring this dig. The last one turned out to be a pyramid scheme. pic.twitter.com/BBmXW4WZRI
— PAW (Peter) (@Peter88902568) March 26, 2026
24.
When hiking, the early bird gets the face full of spider webs.
— National Park Service (@NatlParkService) March 23, 2026
25.
[tiktokker johnny cash] i pew-pewed a man in Reno just to watch him unalive
— cinny ՞. .՞ (@oomfatuated) March 21, 2026
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Our 25 Favourite Funny Tweets of the Week
Image author’s own