News p.11

Tragedy: Independent schools are cutting back on embossed paper and new pools to counter the VAT bills

Hold the front page: Michael Gove is the new editor of the Spectator – 14 unsurprisingly cold responses

Boris Johnson’s attempt to use Bridget Jones as an argument against working from home went spectacularly wrong

Break out the tiny violins for this Telegraph columnist’s millionaire friends who are all leaving the UK

10 simply fabulous Donald Trump “they’re eating the pets” remixes because it’s the gift that keeps on giving

Tommy Robinson is returning to the UK to ‘protest outside 10 Downing Street’ and this is surely the only response you need

A far-right group ‘attacked’ a Glasgow pub and this response to a Sun request for comment had Scots cheering everywhere

The National Trust just bit back at the Daily Mail’s ‘vegan backlash’ story and it’s truly scrumptious

Nadine Dorries said Angela Rayner ‘demeaned her office’ by dancing in Ibiza and Kathy Burke’s A++ response is the only one you need

The replies to this Sky News story about the rise of the German far right is a grim reminder of the state we’re in now

Calvin Robinson – you remember – is leaving the country and these 9 farewells bid goodbye best

The Daily Mail’s furious that Keir Starmer took down a picture of Margaret Thatcher and we loved Chris Packham’s response best

These 21 reactions to the proposed smoking ban will light up your world

Nigel Farage said he’d never go to the pub again if outdoor smoking was banned and this was the only response you need

Someone tried to smuggle drugs into the US disguised as watermelons – 17 juicy takedowns of the laughable fakes