News p.4

Donald Trump boasted he had the “best ever” MRI result, but can’t say what body part they tested – 18 helpful suggestions to solve the mystery

This AI-written news article has gone wildly viral because nobody bothered to proofread it

Place your bets for who might be the BBC’s next Director General – 16 strong contenders to inspire you

These two men have the best response to Tommy Robinson about ‘Who is more English’ and it’s exactly what we need to hear right now

Rupert Lowe ranted about “foreign men” in British towns – 14 pithy replies that went high when he went low

This clip of a huge line of people queuing for a food bank is a damning snapshot of Donald Trump’s America

Donald Trump dozing in the Oval Office is the gift that keeps on giving – 21 people Biden their time with fresh memes and jokes

Elon Musk is set for a $1 trillion pay packet from Tesla and people are gathering their pitchforks in outrage

19 funniest reactions to the unsurprising news that the Louvre’s security system password was ‘Louvre’

This column about not being able to afford to turn on the Aga achieves peak Telegraph – 17 tiny-violin solos

George Osborne tried to joke about Keir Starmer and Rachel Reeves on Halloween – and was owned back to austerity times

Donald Trump held a lavish ‘Great Gatsby’ party for his rich pals – as millions are set to lose food benefits

Andrew set for a six-figure payout and an annual stipend from King Charles and it’s going down as well as you’d expect

A rich family wants to pay £180K for a tutor for their one-year-old baby to become “an English gentleman” – 15 top class responses

Donald Trump renovated a bathroom with golden fixtures as millions of Americans struggle during the shutdown – 15 potty reactions