News p.3

Uber tech bro Sam Altman said humans consumed so much more energy than AI and these (real) people dunked him back to the Stone Age

It’s Andrew that C5’s Jeremy Vine Show feels really sorry for and it had people hollering into next week

Royal protection officers apparently had a very NSFW nickname for Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and it’s brutally revealing about his character

Ex-GB News host Colin Brazier complained about “Arabic caterwauling” and “the waft of dope” on London’s Oxford Street – 16 brazenly brutal responses

People are roasting the Green Party for doing a party political broadcast from an old-timey living room – 21 of the most savage reactions

This story about Queen Elizabeth II apparently refusing to fire a royal footman for punching a young Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor speaks volumes

Reform UK’s Robert Jenrick got a right kicking on TV over his political flip-flopping and watching him squirm makes for delicious viewing

Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was arrested on his 66th birthday, and the internet went into complete meltdown – 37 majestic reactions

Tommy Robinson’s announced a London march for 16 May and ended up magnificently owned into next year

The White House posted images of Valentine’s Day candy hearts saying “Daddy’s Home” and the creepiness detector just exploded into smithereens

A newspaper said millennials and Gen Z can’t afford to buy homes because of “splurging” on rotisserie chickens – 21 responses that are a giant ‘cluck you!’

Someone asked for band names for a group made up on Megyn Kelly, Kristi Noem, Pam Bondi and Karoline Leavitt – 18 certified platinum suggestions

Carlton from ‘Fresh Prince of Bel Air’ is dividing people after sharing a picture with actor James Van Der Beek on his deathbed – 14 reactions that can see the rights and wrongs of it

Apparently Erika Kirk may visit Northern Ireland to meet Ian Paisley Jr and set up ‘Turning Point Ulster’ – 18 funny responses raising holy hell

Reform UK’s Nadhim Zahawi doesn’t feel safe in London after seeing a tired man on the street – 16 responses offering comfort as he recovers